In anticipation

2006 is around the corner and I am house hunting. Inflation is a biatch. This is the year which will change my life forever. I am experiencing some anxiety. Right now I need to get my life back on track. Not that it's off track, it's just not on. I'm the only one who knows what that means. Oh well! In anticipation of 2006 I will do my best to follow the example of Jesus Christ.

As promised..

A serious update. Well went to the funeral. Cry down the place. Spent the weekend with my family which helped to confirm why I don't like many of them. All in all had a good weekend. Lots of laughter and a few tears. Back at work, same old same old. It's the week before Christmas so the whole place is kind of laid back. My sister is going back today, kind of sad. I'll see her in NY for Easter. Everything is cool. Can't complain. Won't complain. By the way, the Tobago funeral had rain like a mofo and sun everyday before and after. If that is not a sign then I don't know what.

Been a long time!! Quick roundup.

It's been a long time since I've posted. Well my grandmother has died. All the idiot family are here the car is not giving trouble. Went to Miami had a ball came back. Love life is good. All in all things are sweet and sour. I'll have a serious update after this week. Going to Tobago where the pack of assholes are. This should be fascinating.

I went, I saw, I liked

Miami that is. I was not in awe, but I like. The life, the atmosphere, the service, I took it all in. It was cool. I have to learn spanish though. The car is good finally. The love is sweet again. They finally kill the old lady. Doh worry, I will repay.

I'm goin to Miami

Well that is if I get back my passport from the Embassy on time. Training and not fun. I'm sure I will see a familiar face. Well what will you do. Ah go enjoy it. The car still acting up. Ah takin it in stride after changing head and block. It running sweet which is a consolation and the noise ah was getting ah now know where it comin from. Oh well Buenvenidos a Miami.

Bitter Sweet Decisions

It's bitter sweet. Still enjoying the Warriors victory but the car is still down. I'm trying to see the blessing in all of this. I need some encouragement, no feeble attempts, the real thing. Well I've made my decision and I think it's right, unless the Lord has something better. I heard the Pastor called. His administration is poor. Only God knows why??

She sang and eased my frustration.

I am a Soca Warrior, I say win or lose I am a fighter. Fat lady sang, but the song was sweeeeet. We win, we in. Germay here we come. It will be nice to see my team on the big stage finally. I saw we now have a Adidas as a sponsor. Doh worry, ah have that kit on lock down. The car is ok. My frustration will end tomorrow. Go Warriors.

Frustrated but I aint see no Fat Lady.

My frustration comes from two outlets. One my car who seems to be fed up of me all of a sudden. Two being the Trinidad and Tobago Football team. We always have to be down to the wire. It seems like we perform under pressure. I must remind myself however that "it aint over... till it's over." So there is hope. The car however has me frustrated, we've been together for three (faithful) years. Where did we go wrong?? Where are all the mechanics who care???Who cares??? Everybody cares about themselves, so why is it that I care about everybody. That is the mystery revealed.

Corleone-esque

Well since being told I need anger management by more than one person I decided to try some things new. What has emerged can only be described after watching those mafiosi movies and reading unproduced scripts. Well if that's what they wanted. I will await my time, my moment. "I'll make them call me Don". This weekend I went to a wedding and a play. Funny money is the most hilarious play I've ever seen. Therapy does have benefits.

Of Pseudo-Traitors and Pseudo-Philanthropists

Well David Nakhid made his path clear and I apologize for vilifying him. You know normal trini thing nah. I put my patriotic foot in my patriotic mouth and I will try to let it not happen again. Bill Gates is giving money to malaria research. Well for those who don't know, 260 million is to 38 billion as 68 cents is to 100 dollars. Wow.

Stand tall

Rosa Parks is dead. I like the caption "She sat down and stood tall." It really epitomizes what she did. Two of my neighbours are dead. Natural causes, if you consider death before three score and ten natural. Oh well, death is a part of life, I'm not shocked by it anymore. I was shocked though by the trailer for "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." Nice book. From the trailer it looks to be a nice movie also. For those who don't know I am sort of a movie buff. Let me see if they live up to my imagination.

Of Iraq and St. James

I just passed through St. James where the bombing took place. I once heard Faris Al Rawi comment on how fast Iraq rebuilt after Desert Storm. St. James looks like nothing happened. I was impressed. So Mr. Prime Minister, are the kidnappings still bogus and is crime temporary?? Do you really know who Mr. Big is?? Oh yes... My country..

It's Over

My birthday that is... For those who don't know, it's October 19th. I'm not one for celebrations. It's been so insignificant for years that I don't know how I would react if anyone made a fuss. Honestly I hate the day and I praised God that it passed semi-quietly into the night. I'm alive however and that is a good thing. Oh well onward to 29.

What a town. Bombs and guts everywhere.

Well another day, another dollar. Another bomb, this time in St. James. Outside Smokey and Bunty no less. This is a funny town. Doh panic, we have it under control. They arrest Abu Bakr but he drove himself to and from the station. What a town. Guns going off accidentally killing people. What a town. A town where nepotism reigns supreme, I mean, I like to see black faces, but not black incompetent faces. I am also alarmed by the number of sirens I hear everyday. Is that supposed to mean that someone somewhere is actually working. What a town.

Is Licks, Licks, Licks

Well we beat them. Mexico get mash up and I glad. We play good football, Hayden would be proud. Stupid me thinking I could go home whilst the world was in football, meet some stink traffic. Is ok though, I hardly get flustered anymore so it's cool. I may have to visit the dentist soon (ahhh). And now on to our next story (flies away).

Tales of music and such: Part 2

Well I saw part 2 this weekend. Hip Hop revealed. I was actually fooled. Now I know all the believers of new age, who believe that we are all gods. Well if they saw so. They also believe in self worship. Badu caught me though with the "three dollars and six dimes". Whoa.... Do the math.. Hidden messages.. No masking, just words. Well I know she was weird eh because I picked up on it in "Next Lifetime". The thing is, these people doh even know the "god" they serve.. hmm. "Jah give I strength, never let I fail"

Wasted !!! (sigh)

Yesterday my time was totally wasted. It is funny how wasted time is so close to laziness. Also fast food. Do an experiment, have someone waste your time and then have some fast food and I guarantee that you won't do anything for the rest of the day. Yesterday I drove 'round town wondering why many parts of the city was blocked off. Once again incompetence reigns supreme. Another fire, no water. We have to start executing people for this shit (sighs)(steups). I wonder why they keep raising the road and not the median. Watch something eh... These assholes (sorry Christian readers).

Confused!?!!!

I'm confused as to why I can never find a working ATM on a morning. Do they get to work late like everyone else I know? What kind of breakfast place opens at 7am, when I am there, you are there and you have everything in place. We should be pushing for earlier times, not later times. Finally I was thing last night. If sugar is bad for you teeth, why is toothpaste so sweet. Imagine throwing spoons of sugar in your mouth and then going to bed. Are the toothpaste makers in cahoots with the international league of dentists (ah the trini mind). I am still confused and still in need of breakfast.

Deadly September

Well September is over but on the night of the last day it claimed another victim. Sean Halls(tubbs) is no longer with us. Incidentally September had 40 murders, the worst month in the history of Trinidad and Tobago... What can I say... There are no words... Well on to October... My birthmonth (yipee...)

Muddy Shoes, Profound Words

We put Ryan into the ground yesterday. Something about cemetery mud that sticks in your shoes your clothes and even your hands. Ryan's wife made some profound statements... Statements about lineage and love and continuity. The thing about me, I draw inspiration from all quarters. I was inspired... Profound words from an unlikely source.

Tales of music and such

This weekend I saw a music program about the dangers of hip hop to young people. I was alarmed at the fact that I knew all these things. Far worse than knowing is not caring. It's not that I don't care, but these things have become so ordinary. I mean everyone does backward masking. I know all about coded messages and I know about the devil's chord. My problem is, I am a sound engineer in training and the only people I can learn from are socamen, dubmen, rapsomen everybody except gospelmen. I mean the ups and downs of my story is a tale by itself. It seems that most of the young people got the message, which got me kinda emotional (although nobody knew). People making life changing decisions always get me emotional, I don't know what that is. I'm glad though that I saw the presentation. I still have some music to get rid of. This is like pulling teeth right now. Not that I have pulled any, but people understand the expression. I know me (thank God). One day I will get up and dump all. It's impulsive like that.

Brothers in life and death

The text came to me. Two simple words that hit like a ton. Ryan dead... hmm. Apparently someone walked up to him and pumped nine bullets into him. A few days before I spoke to him and he told me that he was going to change his life. I sincerely hope he did... Mentally that is.. I am both happy and sad that I spoke to him. Happy that my last conversation with him was a positive one, although it was filled with jokes and stuff and I thought to myself how much like his father he was. The same phrases, that sly grin were you knew the mind was speeding. Sad because I thought that he would have live longer, but God knows why. I don't fully understand the way God moves but I know that he always moves for good. I also know that that converstaion was what was needed at that time for this purpose. The words of Maximus Decimus Meridus come to mind.

"What we do in life. Echoes in eternity." Sleep well Ryan King. Our echoes will be heard soon enough.

TSTT Deal (ha ha ha)

They just sent a company wide email about TSTT giving us a deal. Does TSTT really give deals?? I think the policy is make money first, second, third, fourth and fifth and consumer and customer service are forever overtaking one another in last position. It is because of TSTT that I have self control when it comes to my cell phone. Why must I pay $92 a month when I currently pay $34.50 for three months. Ah the joys of prepaid. Concerning free text! My text messages are not that important. Free calls from 10pm to 6am. I don't make or receive calls after 10pm. Free Voice Mail, Caller ID, Call Waiting, Call Forwarding, 3-Way Calling, Call Transfer?? Please... Come on TSTT, you can surely do better. Is this really a deal?? Where will I benefit?? Will I save money? Will the quality of service improve?? Where is it??

TSTT is like a nagging wife that you want to get rid of but you can't because there are no other women, and you need (not love) the sex. Think about that last statement and you will see why I will wait for Digicel.

Luther King??? Dead?? At 27??

This event was really the catalyst for the creation of this blog. Luther, my former friend. I use the word former because since choosing the way of live he chose we lost contact. I have all these feelings. Feelings I have not felt since Rae-Ann Diaz or Kiesha Henry for that matter. Someone I know, died so violently and yet people who profess to believe in God use words like, "you live by the sword you die by it." Who wants to hear that at this point. Certainly not the King family. I spoke to his younger brother who confessed many things to me. Things about family, about brotherhood about Luther being his confidant. He talked about praying and what he thought about God. The thing that really hit home... He asked with tears in his eyes, how would I feel if I were in his position? Would I be thinking about God, Church, Hate or Revenge. A very pertinent question.... A question to which I still do not, even now, have the answer. Sometimes I tend to live in a false sense of reality, but I am living testimony to the fact that there is a devil and that he is trying to kill each and everyone of us. In that context the death of Luther King weighs heavily upon my mind. I remember that first Junior's class. I remember all the interactions we had as young men in church. I remember his personality. I think about the similarities between him and I. The first of three boys and what that entails. I wonder about all the things that passed through his mind as those five lead bullets seared his flesh and poisoned his chest cavity. Did he call on God?? Would I have that opportunity??

My presence

Well, this is me. My presence on the net. Not that I have not had a presence before. I am a kind of behind the scenes guy. This will be hard to believe for those who actually know me. People ask what I do for a living. The long and short is that I ensure that the people I work with have their presence on the net. I make sure they send email, that their credit card transactions are secure. I make sure they can browse the things that they really know they should not browse. All the technical jargon about firewalls and servers and pix and router and rasserver and fiber optic link and leased line and digital subscribers line (dsl) and backbone and microwave line and wireless link. These are all cogs in the great wheel of the information superhighway. I am also a cog. A cog that ensures the wheels are turning for another day. I am someone but yet I am no one. That's me!! That's it. This is my presence. Welcome to it.